On not having it all: from here to maternity

I’ve recently spotted some thought provoking messaging out there about being a mother and the impact it can have on your career. Were I planning or hoping to have a baby in the near future, I think I’d be pretty dismayed to have read the following over the last few weeks.

• Women are being urged to test their fertility at the age of 30 –
• … but those who do become pregnant and take maternity leave face bullying; a situation blamed, as is so much at the moment, on the recession;
• The Fawcett Society’s most recent report (available as a free download) carries the title “Not Having It All” – and the more chilling sub-title “How motherhood reduces women’s pay and employment prospects” and tells us that, in a nutshell, pregnancy and motherhood makes women vulnerable to discrimination, pay disparities and an enhanced risk of unemployment.

So it’s hardly surprising that the always on the case Glass Hammer website has picked up on this and run an interesting and highly relevant story on professional women choosing to remain childless.

As the article points out: “Based on what we know, why would successful women continue choosing to have children if the detriments to their career are so unavoidable and widespread?”

With my global hat on, I can’t help thinking that if the situation is this bad in the UK and the USA, two countries which do at least have some level of protective legislation in place, then what must it be like elsewhere? The Fawcett Society is calling for new policy responses to reduce the impact of motherhood on a woman’s earnings. Four priority areas emerge from their report and, whilst the recommendations are primarily aimed at governments, I also think that smart, brave organisations could make substantive interventions around at least two of these four points.

1. Provide mothers with the support they need to return to jobs at their previous skills levels;
2. Enforce and extend the law to protect pregnant women and women on maternity leave;
3. Create substantially more part-time work in higher paid occupations;
4. Tackle the low pay that exists in sectors primarily employing women.

This reads to me as a classic case of women being damned if they do (have children) and damned if they don’t (have children, or try to, until later in life, on the basis that they will then be more established in their careers). What a suite of choices: either you have children when your body is most biologically geared up to do so, say in your mid-twenties but you press “pause” on your career. And that option, of course, is predicated on you a) knowing that you want children at that point in your life and b) having a relationship all lined up where that’s what he wants, too. For mid-twenties women (and men) at the moment, they may be so overburdened with student debt that the thought of “settling down” may be either a far flung concept or an impossible dream. I suspect that for many, it’s a look forward into their future which seems quite appealing at some point but doesn’t fall into the “right now” mindset.

Or, option two, you forge ahead with your career, clear down the college debt, hopefully hook up with Mr Right in your early thirties and then hope to hell that you’ve got functioning ovaries, won’t get bullied when you announce your pregnancy news and that you still have something approaching a career to which you can return post-partum.

Not much of a choice, is it?

A new month, a new path

A busy week beckons, specifically, a very busy Tuesday 1st September. Tomorrow will be my last day at work, after 8 1/2 years with my current employer and I’ll be working in the office all day, doing a handover with my successor, prior to being “relieved” of my laptop and security pass at 5.30pm.

I’ll then be heading across London over to the second of what the Downing Street Project team call “teach backs”. Everyone associated with this exciting, embryonic project to date has been formed into one of four teams (covering such issues as fund raising, training, communications etc) and tasked with coming up with approaches for the future.

I was amazed at how much had been achieved, in terms of ideas, creativity and infrastructure, between the launch at the House of Commons on June 30th and the first teach back session four short weeks later – and I’m sure tomorrow night’s event will show similar progress. We are scheduled to cover and be reminded of the following:

– Why do we need this initiative?
– What problem in society does it intend to address?
– How does the DSP think it will make a difference?
– What is balanced leadership and why is it relevant? What can it deliver?
– What is the time line for the DSP over the next three months, the first year and next three years?

I’m really looking forward to both hearing the updates and also keeping my mind occupied on things other than the end of my job and all the implications of that …

On being several days closer to my new t-shirt

I’ve just received this email and, as a reminder, here’s the t-shirt in question:

Dear Cleo

Thank you for confirming your membership with the Fawcett Society.

Your t-shirt has been despatched and should be with you within the next couple of days. Please contact our office on the number below if you do not receive it.

Once you have received the t-shirt, why not take the Fawcett Feminist Challenge and show the world that being a feminist is something to be proud of! All you need to do is send us a picture of yourself in your Fawcett t-shirt with a quote saying why you’re a feminist to donorcare@fawcettsociety.org.uk and we’ll add your picture to our gallery of Fawcett feminists. Click on this link to see who’s risen to the challenge.

Thank you again for your support and for standing up for feminism.

Well, as the old saying (sort of) goes: if the t-shirt fits …

A woman’s world: in words and pictures

I hope that I’ll manage to keep picking up on so many fascinating news stories about women once I’m no longer on the various corporate mailing lists to which I currently belong … here, for example, is a link to last Sunday’s New York Times magazine, courtesy of some friends at the World Bank’s gender program. It seems that the NYT devoted an issue to gender articles; I’m not sure I’d have picked up on this (as well as everything else!) without Amanda sending through the link.

Particularly like the piece entitled “A women’s world”, for which readers submitted photos which “illustrate the importance of educating girls and empowering women.”

See also the article from Nicholas Kristof (he of “Lehman Sisters” fame, earlier this year) on the growing awareness that:

” … focusing on women and girls is the most effective way to fight global poverty and extremism. That’s why foreign aid is increasingly directed to women. The world is awakening to a powerful truth: Women and girls aren’t the problem; they’re the solution.”

Networking for busy women

As I move towards the end of my current period of gainful employment, the subject of networking is very much on my mind. I recently read somewhere (possibly somewhere in the thick file on “How To Get A New Job In A Recession”* given to me earlier this week by my appointed outplacement consultant) that 80% of all jobs are obtained through contacts and networking.

[* It isn’t actually called that. But it ought to be.]

Since word has leaked out that I’m leaving, I’ve had a lot of calls and emails which all have a similar theme and that is, and this is a direct quote:

“Getting a new job shouldn’t be a problem for you with your network.”

I’m not actually sure as yet how true that will prove to be, as the one job for which I am currently in the pipeline has come my way via a recruiter – although it has certainly been very useful in the six interviews I’ve had to date to be able to indicate that yes, I know this person, that organisation, that report, that news story, that network and so on. But, if this job doesn’t come off for me, I know that networking is going to become a key part of Cleo World this autumn.

And that will be OK for me given that getting a new job will effectively become my job, so maintaining my network will be a regular daily activity – but how do you do it when you already have a job, a life, a family and a myriad of other calls on your time?

Yes, networking can be time consuming – but I also think of it as the kind of thing that is useful in terms of keeping the wheels of one’s life, career and health moving along. An analogy might be – where do we find the time to go to the gym, or undertake some other “worthy” but time consuming pastime? For example, people frequently ask me where I find the time to read. To which my response is – we find the time for all sorts of things if we feel that we must, or perceive that they are important and beneficial in one way or another. So I would fit networking into that category; we will make time for it if we truly want to.

(To learn more about networking whilst reading (See? Multi-tasking), check out Steven D’Souza’s book, “Brilliant Networking” in the recommended reading link above.)

I’d also note that it depends on one’s understanding of the word “networking”. I suspect that, for some, it’s viewed as an organised activity, such as an event arranged by one of the many professional groups out there, such as the European Professional Women’s Network – which has a purposeful, self-described networking component built in. So, absolutely – for many people, adding on their attendance at an event to the end of their working day will feel like an extra thing to do and one for which they may lack the time. I could easily be out at some kind of a professional event pretty much every evening if I accepted all the invitations which come my way.

But I would rather go to fewer events but make more of my time at them; I also work very hard to keep in touch with and nurture, for want of a better word, the network that I do have, which is both enjoyable and far less time consuming than attending events. Additionally, I make use of other types of networking, by keeping in touch with people more casually and using on-line tools like Facebook and Linked-In. It’s also helpful to think about what networking you can do during your normal day – can you meet people for coffee, for example? What about breakfast events? The “Starbucks Effect” seems to be a growing trend, picked up on in this article from The Glass Hammer entitled “Coffee is the new lunch”.

Finally, here are some networking tips courtesy of “My Mentor” creator Emberin’s newsletter – reproduced with thanks.

Top 10 Networking Tips for Success

Written by Lisa Butler of Paragon & Associates
Author of Networking Exposed

Networking is important for business, career, leadership and personal success. Successful networkers know that the true nature of networking is developing and maintaining genuinely helpful relationships with others, with a focus on helping them, not you. You should not be selling when you are networking! The top ten tips for networking success are:

Tip 1 – Recognise the true nature of networking and appreciate the value it offers in your business, career and personal life. Accepting that networking is about relationship building and building win-win alliances with others is the first step to networking success. Focus on helping others and you will undoubtedly reap the rewards.

Tip 2 – Be aware of the reasons that stop you from networking. Many people are hesitant to network – often due to negative perceptions about what networking is and its value. Be aware of what stops you, and identify strategies to help you to have the right mindset and get the value networking offers.

Tip 3 – You need to network strategically. Consider why you are networking, and how it will help you to achieve your business and personal goals. This will enable you to more effectively customize and ensure you are networking with the right people, in the right places and in the right way. This focus helps you to save time and gain greater value from your networking effort.

Tip 4 – Have a good system for monitoring and recording your list of network contacts. It is important to recognise that effective networking is more about how you keep in contact with people and look after them, than it is about attending events. A good system should enable you to easily update contact details and be an easy reference tool when you need to find relevant contacts.

Tip 5 – Be genuinely interested in other people. Sounds simple, but it requires effective communication skills (the ability to ask good questions which engage people, and to listen!).

Tip 6 – Treat everyone you meet with the utmost respect and give them 100% of your attention. Never underestimate the networking value of people you meet, as it may come back to haunt you.

Tip 7 – Be able to talk about what you do (when asked!) in a way which is relevant, interesting and understandable to the other person. This requires you to tailor your response and focus on providing information which will enable further conversation’.

Tip 8 – Identify relevant and helpful reasons to continue contact with people you meet. Be on the lookout for opportunities to follow up with people, preferably in ways that will help them not you. It is far easier to follow up with someone when you are doing something worthwhile for them. It is also very powerful.

Tip 9 – Prepare to network. Before you attend an event or even just a catch up with a contact, consider your objectives, who you will meet, the topics of conversation, questions you can ask, research their companies or industries, and generally be up to date. Also consider how you can best achieve your objectives through your behaviour and the impressions you want to create.

Tip 10 – Enjoy it. The most effective networkers tend to be the people who find enjoyment from their networking. Other people are drawn to happy, positive people, and it shows in your demeanour and language. A positive mindset is an important element of networking success.

I would also add my own personal “Tip 11” to this list – do what you say you’re going to do. If you commit to sending someone an article or providing them with some other piece of information: make sure you do so, as soon as possible – and ideally within 48 hours of making the commitment. This, for me, is part of the “safe pair of hands” component of my personal brand and I believe that it makes networking a richer and more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Let’s hope that my networking will pay off for me now, as I gaze down the barrel of my huge and inadvertent life change.

Flying women: the Travel Tao of Cleo

In 2008, I spent just over one hundred nights away from home on business, plus a few more on a couple of holidays. This has made me something of a reluctant expert on Women Who Travel, and I’m often asked for travel tips for business women who have to travel more than occasionally for work.

So, as this blog is all about women, here are some highly personalised and very individual tips from the “Travel Tao of Cleo”, as built up over the last three years’ worth of trips to an assortment of countries.

Before you go ….

Some call it “anal”, others call it “Type A”.

I call it organised.

I find it speeds up my packing and planning to warp factor to keep everything which I habitually pack, in one place at home. For me, this is a drawer, but it could just as easily be a box or any other storage receptacle. In this drawer, I keep such things as a duplicate wash/sponge bag with my toiletries, a small umbrella, electrical adaptors for a variety of countries, a travel dual-voltage hairdryer (the hotel ones which are a tube of warm air emerging from a wall don’t work for me, so I take my own), travel speakers for my MP3 player, and other essentials. Once I’ve put the contents of The Drawer into my case and added my clothes, I’m ready to go.

Mentioning clothes – for this, I plan and I Make a List, which details what I’ll be doing and what to wear for each activity or event. Again, very Type A, but I’ve found it helps me to both be more decisive and also avoids over-packing and taking either pointless or duplicate items. I got stung for excess baggage on my first ever long haul trip, but not now. I also take separates, rather than suits, as I find them more versatile, but obviously this will depend on your business trip and the local environment.

It’s easy to find room for accessories, even in the smallest of cases – and a scarf, a belt, some costume jewellery – can help to ring the changes on your outfit while you’re away.

Still on the subject of clothes – when I shop for business attire, I now bear in mind the fabric as well as the usual considerations of fit, cut, price, colour, etc. Try scrunching the fabric of the garment up in your hand – anything with even a small amount of linen in it will crease (and stay creased) at once and is not your friend. Blended fabrics work quite well – I have a jacket which is a silk and cotton mix and which has accumulated many frequent flyer miles in its’ time. I’m sure that I must have colleagues overseas who think that I only wear one jacket, so often does it get an outing. Anything with Lycra® in it (say, 5%) also travels well.

But stay away from the linen. I once took a beautiful linen jacket to Mexico City and, even after having it pressed by the hotel, I still looked as if I’d been sleeping in a field for a week. Not a good look.

(NB: I no longer own this jacket).

When packing, roll your clothes instead of folding them. This works particularly well with jackets, dresses and skirts, and ensures that you can remove them from your case, give them a shake and they’re ready to wear (assuming that they’re not, of course, linen). My top tip for folding a jacket was provided to me by a professional wardrobe consultant, who suggested the following routine:

– Lay the jacket flat on the bed
– Do up the buttons
– Fold the arms across the main body of the jacket
– Then roll it up, from the bottom hem towards the collar, like a sausage.
– Insert sausage into suitcase.

When you arrive, you can unpack and then just hang the jacket up, and it will be in good shape and not have creases impacted into it caused by the weight of thousands’ of other people’s luggage pressing down on it in the hold of the plane.

And finally … stuff socks/tights/underwear into your shoes to act as shoe trees and use up the “dead” space in your footwear.

Probably the most unusual item in my suitcase is a plastic clothes peg – or even two. I can’t even remember why or when I first started including these in my “essentials” kit, but now that I have them, they get a lot of use. Recent outings include:

• Clipping together errant hotel room curtains to stop the light coming through
• Attaching a broken shower curtain to the shower rail to prevent major flooding
• Being used as an impromptu paper clip
• Holding together the sides of my wash bag after the zip broke

… and so on.

While you’re travelling …..

I always take a pashmina (a large, rectangular woollen scarf) in a neutral colour onto the plane with me. Over the years, it has served duty as a blanket, a protector against vicious on-plane air conditioning, a neck pillow, a back pillow in the case of insufficient lumbar support on either the plane or at an event, and an impromptu provider of warmth if you’re ever somewhere which is hot during the day but unexpectedly cold at night (Zebra Lodge, South Africa, August 2008 – yes).

There’s a scary statistic doing the rounds somewhere on the internet about the amount of times that air is recycled on a plane during the average long-haul flight. Even if it’s an urban myth, I still interpret this to mean that someone sneezing in row 26 is likely to be sharing their cold with the whole plane, and I think that I’d rather not be ill at all, thank you, let alone while I’m away. I therefore always travel with a small tub of slow release vitamin C tablets, and I take a couple as soon as I board the plane. The benefit of boosting my immunity like this has served me well so far and, in the event that I ever do start to feel ill while I’m away, taking a few vitamin C capsules has, in the past, been known to prevent a sore throat from turning into a full blown cold.

On similar lines, I always carry a mini bottle of hand sanitiser gel with me (both on to the plane and off it) and use it liberally. No, I don’t have OCD but, then again, I’ve never been sick on a business trip either.

Moisturising while you fly is vital. A flight attendant once told me to do two things on a long haul flight: drink a LITRE of water per hour of the flight and spray my face regularly with a Body Shop vitamin E moisturising spray. I generally find that the first suggestion is neither practical nor sustainable, although I do agree that drinking as much water as you can is a great idea (not alcohol or coffee, though). But the moisturiser is a must, and the spray in question is readily available – I imagine from places other than the Body Shop, too.

The aerosol spray dispensers of water are also very good for constant facial hydrating in mid-air, although you’ll have to buy these after you’ve been through airport security, as they are larger than 100 mls.

If I’m flying and then arriving somewhere in daylight which is likely to be hot/with strong sunshine, I also fly with a very small (airport security approved) tube of SPF sunscreen and then stick on a layer just before we land. Admittedly, I’m pale and English so this one’s not a tip for all, but even so – it’s still moisturiser.

Mentioning small tubes – I am an avid collector of tiny tubes and samples of all kinds of products, and I hoard them for use when I travel. Sachets of moisturiser and tubes of cleanser are much prized, as they can go into the clear plastic bag and beat the security issues surrounding larger sizes of product. If you normally buy your toiletries at a department store, try asking for a few samples next time you shop; I do this quite often and the sales assistant always says yes and hands over some useful trial sizes of all types of goodies. I’ve also noticed that many websites and shops are now selling miniatures of various products, marketed as “holiday sizes” or “airline approved”, so it’s worth looking out for them.

In a similar vein, I also decant certain products, if I can’t get them in Lilliputian sizes, into small plastic pots. These are sold in many drugstores/pharmacies and I find the wooden stirring sticks available in coffee shops are handy for assisting with the decanting of hair gel and the like.

When you’re away …

When you arrive and unpack, sort out your clothes first, then the rest of your case. Hang clothes up in the bathroom while you shower or bathe, as the steam will help them settle back into shape, particularly if you’ve followed the tip above and rolled rather than folded.

Keep a note of your packing list with you – it will remind you of what outfits you have pencilled in for what event, and also act as a handy check list for when you have to re-pack and move on. I’m now much better at not leaving assorted possessions in hotels, and life is all the better for it.

My former boss, a man for whom long haul travel is more “normal” than a daily 20 minute commute from the suburbs to the office, once told me that, if one wakes up in the middle of the night, to NOT check what time it is as, if it’s night, you should be asleep, right? I try to stick to this and I’m also very happy to take the occasional over-the-counter sleeping remedy to assist with both getting to sleep and staying asleep in an unfamiliar time zone. I generally find that, if I can have a couple of nights of decent quality sleep at more or less the right time in the local zone, I’m fine and can work in the way that I’m meant to. For me, a non prescription sleeping aid helps me to stay asleep rather than to get to sleep – like most people, when I’m jet-lagged, it’s like being felled by a tree, and so the idea of taking a sleeping pill seems pointless; but it will seem like a great idea when it’s 3am local time and you are WIDE AWAKE and staring at the ceiling of your hotel room, wondering what time breakfast service commences.

The same theory holds true for when you arrive home from a business trip – get a decent night’s sleep at the right time in your local time zone and you’ll be fine; nap at odd times, however tempting it may seem if you’ve missed a night’s sleep on a red eye flight, and you’ll be off kilter for days.

I’m off to California next week so, if you see a woman on a Virgin flight, swathed in a beige pashmina, slapping moisturiser on to her face – say hello.

This is what a feminist looks like

Today I did something which I should have done a while ago – I joined the Fawcett Society and signed up to make regular financial contributions.

The email acknowledgement I’ve just received serves as a stark reminder of why we need the Fawcett Society, even in 2009:

Thank you for adding your voice to the campaign by supporting the Fawcett Society with a regular donation.

Despite the myth that feminism is dead, inequality is alive and kicking. On average women get just 83p for every £1 of income received by men, less than 7 out of every 100 reported rapes results in conviction and only 20% of MPs are women. We are working hard to change this reality and close the gender gap in access to power, money and justice. Your support will go a long way to help us achieve this.

And what exactly does a feminist look like?

Well, once I receive my Fawcett Society tshirt:

… I guess that it will look like me.

Is this my future – who knows?

Another difficult Friday at work today (although, as TLS has just pointed out, “Only one left!” – which may possibly be his idea of Cheering Me Up).

Anyway, my friend Lisanne, one of the many fabulous women in Cleo World, has just emailed me this article, entitled “The Get-Started-Now Guide to Becoming Self Employed”.

Here’s the opener:

“One of the best things I ever did was quit my day job and become self-employed. I’m so happy with it that I’m recommending it to everyone: my kids, my friends, my sisters.

One sister has already started her own fitness business and I’m strongly urging the other to go out on her own as well.

And while being your own boss can be scary and a little risky, it’s not as difficult as people think. You do have to be someone who loves his freedom, likes to be able to set his own schedule, likes to work on things he’s excited about.

I know, that’s a tall order.”

Thanks for making me smile, Lisanne; this article really did Cheer Me Up.

The Swedish word for “women” is “kvinnor”

Yesterday, through work, I received an invitation to attend a European women’s networking event in Sweden and it reminded me of the last time I went to Stockholm on business.

Although many global companies are very creative in terms of how they both recognise and then tackle the gender issue in general, and the retention and promotion situations in particular, I was particularly keen to find out more about the Swedish model once I discovered that our firm in Sweden actually have targets for female participation at all levels: graduate recruitment, retention, and promotion at every grade.

Targets around female participation always seem to arouse great debate, cf in particular the recent hoo-ha caused by Harriet Harman’s comments, with some organisations viewing them as a mandatory way to both invoke and measure progress (“what gets measured gets done”) and others seeing the word as completely interchangeable with the word “quota”, which is in turn generally agreed to be A Bad Word and no way at all to increase the proportion of women in either politics or the workforce.

So, the discovery that my employer in Sweden has been an active participant in the EU sponsored Women To the Top programme since 2004 and has subsequently established their own targets, saw me flying to Stockholm on a very cold Sunday morning last November and preparing to spend 48 hours being offered reindeer, herring and rye bread. For breakfast.

My sense was that Sweden as a country is very advanced around working women, workplace flexibility, the provision of nurseries and so on – would this prove to be true? Has Sweden developed a model which would work elsewhere? What lessons can we learn and how can we deploy them elsewhere?

On Monday morning, I walked to the office and saw an image of a baby girl, wearing an obviously false moustache, on a billboard on my way in – here she is:

Further enquiry led me to the website of the company in question, which was of course in Swedish but which was kindly translated for me by my helpful colleague Lisa. The gist of the message was focussed on a survey by an insurance company which had discovered that, in order to be a leader in a top Swedish listed company, it was helpful (in statistical terms) to be a man named Goran (as in Sven-Goran Eriksson, football fans). They then turned these findings into a series of advertisements, all illustrated by images of baby girls disguised as the opposite gender, and captioned with wording around the theme of: “Is her name Ulrika? If you want her to succeed as an adult, you’d do better to rename her Bjorn or Anders.”

Quite aside from this being visually very eye catching, it was also thought provoking to me on two levels: one, I read from it that the current Swedish status quo is by no means as positive in terms of numbers as it may appear to be at first sight; and secondly, that this is both recognised within Sweden and challenged by way of these advertisements, which don’t resemble any campaigns that I’ve seen elsewhere.

My two days with my colleagues were both enjoyable and enlightening. I learned a lot about the annual flexible hours contract available to all staff, the recently launched mentoring scheme, their participation in Women To the Top and the establishment of the “Women on the Board” external networking group.

And I flew home (and yes, I’d eaten both reindeer AND herring) feeling very aware that a combination of employer led interventions, coupled with government support, can make a very real difference to the number and seniority of women in the workplace.

More “Mad Men” – as featured in “New York” magazine.

A couple of years ago, I picked up a copy of “New York” magazine when I was out there on a business trip, and instantly found myself enthralled by its mix of news stories, political commentary (John Heilemann’s election campaign coverage during 2008 kept me very well informed), TV and movie reviews and, perhaps best of all, the now-on-the-back-page “Approval Matrix”, which divides the page into quarters and dubs news stories and events as “Highbrow/Despicable”, “Highbrow/Brilliant” and the “Lowbrow” equivalents.

Always good to know, for example, where a woman alleging that she was asked to leave an IKEA store in Brooklyn for breast-feeding sits on the moral compass, I think.

Because I am married to he who is officially the World’s Nicest Man, TLS, I am now a happy recipient of a massively overpriced but much loved by me subscription to “New York” magazine, which hits my London doormat at annoyingly sporadic intervals but which is always pounced upon and read immediately.

The most recent edition arrived yesterday, mid way through my as previously mentioned “Mad Men” marathon so I hit pause and opened it up … only to discover that the on-the-pulse editorial team had not let me down and were running a couple of “Mad Men” stories.

Here’s a link to a good interview with Christina Hendricks who plays Joan – and also a typically (but wittily, in classic NYM style) episode summary of the first two seasons.

I am so envious of all those based in the US who get to see the first episode of season three tonight. To quote from Monty Python: “you lucky, lucky bastards.”