The UK government has announced that the gender pay gap has been closed and that all female workers are now paid at least as much as their male counterparts in all areas of work, if not more in certain key areas such as healthcare and STEM roles. Hailing this as a triumph for his government’s policies, the UK Prime Minister commented that “casting sunlight on the discrepancies” had proved to be such a success as a political strategy that he intended to use it as an approach in other areas of policy and urged future USA President Trump to follow his lead. The House of Commons burst into spontaneous applause across all party benches when the announcement was made, with many MPs commenting, approvingly, that fixing the gender pay gap a mere 46 years after the legislation to do so was enacted showed great dedication to the cause of pay equity.
The Secretary General of the TUC commended the Prime Minister on his continuing support for gender equality and noted that telling women to “calm down, dear” was indeed the best way to address female colleagues.
Meanwhile, in a continued effort to make its iconic line of dolls more representative of today’s culture, Mattel have announced the release of its first male Barbie, which it hopes will inspire girls to dream about what it’s like to hold a top-ranking job in the workforce.
A spokesperson commented that:
“Girls will have fun imagining the new Barbie make an unimpeded climb up the corporate ladder” and Mattel executives have also announced plans for a boardroom play set that lets multiple male Barbies sit around a conference table making long-term strategy decisions while a regular female Barbie sits nearby keeping minutes of the meeting. “Since 1959, Barbie has been inspiring young girls and sparking their creativity. We believe that by introducing a male version of the doll, girls will be able to see that every opportunity and every avenue for success is open for them to imagine. Now, girls can truly envision being anything at all,” he added.
Mattel later confirmed the new male Barbie will only be available in white.
All of the above? Just fiction, courtesy of my imagination and that of The Onion. Happy April 1st
Back to business as usual …
PS: this is my 200th blog post! How apt.